So you had to take a break from bjj? 

Between a horrific rash and two new additions to our household I want to say it’s not entirely my fault. Just mostly. Sadly I know it’s all my fault. 

It’s surprisingly difficult for me to return to training after taking extended periods of time off. The amount of laziness I develope after even a couple extra days off is truly amazing. It seems like sooo much work to include bjj in my daily routine: Going to the academy, doing the classes, the extra showers and hair care steps, the shocking amount of extra laundry, and then the sore, tired, overall body aches add up to a lot. I’ll rephrase that. They are a lot when you’ve forgotten how much you love the sport. Because when I go everyday it’s all worth it. Except the laundry. I hate laundry and I only have one gi (omg lol). 

The one thing that caught me off guard about returning was how quickly my comfort level reverted back to when I first started. I’m scared again. My bubble is firmly in place. Basically I’ve had to start all over on the mats. Fortunately, when someone has me controlled, I know why my mind blanks and my breathing stops and I can try to control it. (Closing my eyes really helps.) I hope the return to previous comfort levels will be swift and so far so good!!

The great parts of returning after absences are many but for me its the people more than anything. Guys and gals that genuinely seem to care if I’m there or not and the encouragement they offered, it was sorely needed after feeling like I was starting at day one again. 

I feel truly blessed to get to train bjj and to have found my academy. It’s good to be back. 

Class today! 



Nikki – Fear, claustrophobia, and enormous sweaty people sitting on your back.


So they tell me fear of claustrophobia and being in close quarters will eventually become feelings of the past. They tell me that these things will cease to horrify me or paralyze my mind or cause me to go into fight or flight mode.

I am now in my fourth full week of training. We train a minimum of four days a week with alternating Saturdays. I originally had no idea that I had any of those issues. It wasn’t until my third week that they were brought to the surface and I found myself very grateful to the enormous purple belt that sat on my back. He sat on my back and immediately jumped off it and to the side with his hands held up in front of him. He told me to breathe. And then he explained what I was feeling and how it was completely normal. After that roll with the super huge purple belt, I’m very aware of when fear takes control.

It’s a subtle thing really. All thought goes from the mind, any technique that my little tiny bit of experience has learned doesn’t exist anymore. I tell myself when I roll with the huge purple belt, (I request him now…once every session), I tell myself, “you’re OK, breathe. You’re OK, breathe. Over and over again, sometimes it is the only thing I can think at all. Sometimes I close my eyes and focus on my new mantra while just reacting to any sensation I manage to interpret. I have had to use the same technique with other people, mainly folks I’m not familiar with yet.

My oldest son is feeling the same concern with people being in his bubble. I told him to have faith that his teacher won’t allow anyone to hurt him and to breathe and tell himself that he’s all right.

He still doesn’t believe me when I tell him it’s normal…haha!!!

Next class is Saturday!

Nikki – Saturday Morning Compromises

They say marriage is all about compromise. This is true when you are testing out a marriage too (engagement). I can say with much humor and some frustration that I never thought I would be compromising over who GETS to go train on a Saturday afternoon.

Our training schedule is usually four days a week with alternating Saturdays. Alternating because we have multiple kiddos, and some of them we don’t have 100% of the time. The child in this scenario spends 50% of his time with my ex-husband , so we have him every other Saturday. I should add that between the two of us we have four children. 13, 11, 5, 5.

Now the reason for this mornings rock paper scissors lizard Spock situation is one of our five year olds is having some serious sinus/booger issues and didn’t sleep well last night.

Tony and I also missed a week of training due to a minor surgical procedure Tony had last week, as such he has determined that he needs the training more than I do this week. (Sarcasm) Naturally, I want to go as I missed a week of training too. Two months ago I never would have thought this would be something to consider.

And so, a compromise is struck. Well, I should say, Tony won. Bleh lol.

A side note, I lost some of the weight I had gained in the last two days. It was certainly my coffee creamer. It’s amazing how such a small thing can derail everything.

Class Monday!!!


Keto, a crash course

Hi! Got Keto?

Part of my diet plan is fasting, but that’s not required with a Keto diet. Fasting is a little push that Ninja added. At three weeks in, I’m by no means an expert and any dieting and fasting should be approved by your doctor before beginning.

I started eating Ketogenic and fasting together. Depending on who you ask fasting will help your body differently. The important thing is the body learning to stop burning carbs and sugar for energy and instead start burning fat and the most efficient way to make it do it!  You can learn more about how that works here. You can find a solid start at a food guide here.

It started with a 12 hour fast. Sounds totally crazy, I know. But if you eat right and schedule the bulk of your fasting time during sleep it’s not really that much time. I have slowly been working up to a higher fasting time and its been pretty cool, mainly because it’s been pretty easy. I’m not hungry. That makes it A LOT easier.

I’m currently undertaking a daily 16 hour fast. Jumping from a daily 14 hours to a daily 16 hours has so far been the most challenging. I’ve been a bit cranky and one night I was hungry.

It’s all about the macros, but mostly it feels like its really all about the fat, if my fat intake drops too low for the day it makes me super hungry and super…cranky.

Break fast this morning, three eggs, 2oz bacon 1oz extra sharp cheddar cheese and an avocado (smushed on top of the omelette). And water, lots and lots of water. All day, water…


Nikki, an intro

Hi! I’m Nikki, the tall heavy set one on the left.

This photo was taken on Monday, April 3rd. Five days ago.

I realized last week that I was changing so fast I had better start taking pictures and keeping track or I was going to miss it. That’s about the time Tony, my fiance and other writer on this blog, suggested we keep a record of our journey. Not just my weight loss and his fitness but of our new lifestyle. Because that’s what it is when you do Brazilian Jui Jitsu (BJJ). A life style. Don’t worry, it was a surprise to me too.

When we started this…change, Ninja, my professor, put me on an ass-kicking diet while also allowing me to workout immediately in his classes.

I received my gi and white belt and attended my first class on March 13th. I was 6’1 and 322lbs.

Today I weighed in at 304lbs. (I gained a couple pounds back and I’m thinking my coffee creamer is the culprit, but we shall see.)

18 pounds in less than month. Sure some of it’s water weight. As long as that number keeps going down and my clothes keep getting bigger I’m happy to lose “water weight” forever! Ninja said I would be 200 pounds, I’m starting to believe him.

So far I’ve missed documenting my first “roll” with Ninja, my first bruise and my first tap. I’ll most likely recount them at a later date as they are still fresh and exciting to me.

Next class is Saturday!



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